What if Reiki Doesn’t Work?
A Personal Exploration of the Power of Reiki

Stef Daniels

 Just recently my child suffered a highly progressive and dangerous form of infection. Traditional medicine could not touch the fever, the infection present and even complicated blood tests and serum therapies could not give an accurate or proper diagnosis. The ordeal, although ending well was extremely frightening for me as a mother.

A few weeks ago a dear friend initiated me to Reiki. For me the initiation was powerful and as memorable as my wedding day or the birth of my children. I felt warmth and spinning near my navel for several days following. The energy that I had could not be denied or explained with conventional tools.

Although I knew I was the same, I felt strongly, that I was different. My excitement also led to some anxiety.

What if I couldn't do it right?

What if the Reiki I was learning didn't work?

What if I wasn't spiritual or powerful enough to carry out this ancient tradition of healing?

I even wondered if my always transitioning state of awareness, my infantile steps towards spiritual fulfillment and my beliefs and knowing were at a level high enough to allow for the power of Reiki to work through me.

As things spiraled downhill fast with my daughter, I took her to the tree where I Was initiated. She sat on my lap, my bottom against the dirt and my back resting on the strength of the tree trunk.

I placed my hands on her throat and crown chakra because I felt somehow that is where she needed me most. She was so hot that it felt for a while that my hands were seething. I asked her to breathe, and I tried to join her in her breath in unison.

We sat for twenty minutes underneath the trees. I thought of nothing and felt only her small body in my arms burning from fever and shaking with each rustling of the breeze.

When we came in her fever was down 3 degrees. This was much more than what Motrin or any other medicine was able to do. I didn't feel so powerful though, I felt humble and grateful for the gift.

Unfortunately this was not the end.

Things worsened progressively over the next few days. As they did I found the level of stress inside me capping out at all time highs. My world felt unsteady and I was unsure what the future held.

My attachment to her and my worry was disconnecting me from the source I needed to help her. I began feeling desperate and as each emotion came and went my ability to help her just kept slipping away.

I called on the medical community and friends who were practiced healers. She was sent endorphins from many people, and was held in light by many others.

A body talk practitioner narrowed it down to her throat chakra and a family dysfunction that was going on within her. She further explained that it was her spleen and lymphatic system that was under attack. As she was admitted into the hospital and several medications and diagnostic tests were run, it was confirmed. Her infection lay inside of her lymphatic system, in the glands themselves. Luckily for me and for her she is fine today! I could never be more thankful.

What I realized and learned is that my attachment to her was too great to help her. I could not detach from the emotions of worry and fear long enough to settle down my mind to invoke Reiki properly.

As each second passed, the sicker she got, the less I trusted in the Universe. It was not an intentional decision, but rather one based on instinct and fear.

In my life I cannot remember a moment of more helplessness. As I felt this, I only attracted more of it and eventually the Universe answered me vibrationally. I wish that I could have changed things for her. I wish that I could have been of more assistance. I deeply recognize the power of children to heal, but without the calmness and support of others they too are affected by madness.

I also cannot say for sure if aside from my first try, Reiki worked. I wasn't willing to work within the time limits of the universe. When things did not go as fast as I wished I panicked and gave up.

I was saying in a loud voice that my way was the only way and not allowing the unfolding to occur. I suppose now after 6 days in the hospital and IV administration of 5 antibiotics to beat the infection I will never know for sure what worked and what didn't.

What I can say for sure is that the lesson I learned so quickly after initiation was one of great importance. Faith and trust are not to only be implemented at the convenience of ourselves. When we rely on the Universe for direction and clarity, when we are seeking peace and happiness and well being we must be able to wait and to believe in all instances that it really is there waiting for us.

My thanks and gratitude goes out to all who helped her.

In light Stef

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